You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
