I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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