She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
