Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
