hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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