im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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