since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
