If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
