The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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