Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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