I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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