I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
