I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
