If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
