Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We need to rekindle our bromance
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
