My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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