I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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