You work out of a Hotel?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
