I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You took a bar mat shot.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
