I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
