The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
