So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
