feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
