and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
