In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
