Christians are straight up FREAKS
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
