Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
