Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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