i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
