so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
