from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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