I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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