After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
