He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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