well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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