im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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