By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
