no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
where am i from again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
