He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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