I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
