Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
