i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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