When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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