nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
