Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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