just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
