My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just tell him i said nine months
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
