I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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