You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
