Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
