She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
