So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
